wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
