i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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