Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
