yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
