people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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