So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
