The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize