in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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