i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Randomize
