Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
