it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
