okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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