She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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