Can Purell be used as lube?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
this hospital has no fireball
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize