I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
