Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
My hand turned me down
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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