You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize