I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
