the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
