things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I skipped work to stalk him.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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