haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
