I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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