WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I understand Curling. That high.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
