You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
