how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
