All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
