So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
