My nipple is on Facebook.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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