Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
