I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize