There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
