I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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