there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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