yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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