She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
