If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I think i got beer on your cat.
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