it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
