yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
