I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
