I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize