Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
