I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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