we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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