About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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