help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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