This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
