they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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