There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
