So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
do nipples grow back?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
