That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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