she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
