our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
