Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was not drunk enough for that final.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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