Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
