Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
