Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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