i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
