If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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