names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
