kristin has been a bad kristin
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
He kissed a someone with a penis
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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