when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
someone owes me an orgasm
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
