i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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