The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
