I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
