a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
