$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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