living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
