Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I have aggressive nipples.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
